A minute in the mind of a man

• Swipe.
•  Swipe.
•  And Swipe. Not once. Not in a thousand years could I have imagined that I would have hundreds of thousands of women at my fingertips. Generation Z will never know the struggle. They will never know the embarrassment that comes with being rejected.  And rejected I was. Once, I was told by a middle school girlfriend that I followed them around like a little lost puppy dog. She would go on to become the salutatorian of our class, but between you and me, I am doing just as good as she is today.  Another told me that I had a staring problem. Fake humility much? I was nothing if not persistent. She gave in and went on a date with me to the movies when I was a Junior in high school. Total win. So what if one of my best friends took her virginity? Who’s keeping score? 
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• If I am being honest, that was not the most embarrassing thing that happened to me while I was in grade school.     Picture this if you can. It was one of, if not the first, boy/girl party that I had ever been to. Her name was Tosha. I thought I would never find anything more beautiful than she was. So, we sat there. Behind the couch, hidden from the others, in what I can only describe as the den of the house we were in. Time stood still. We looked at each other. We grinned. We looked away. And then back to each other. Our lips grew closer. It is the moment every 12-year-old boy lives for. First base. I was about to become a God among Gods.  Then it happened. I farted. I couldn’t hide it. No excuses. She laughed. No way to recover.  Apologies. There I go again. Thinking about me and my tribulations. Today, I am not so afraid of farting in front of a girl anymore. Now? To actually talk to a girl. To risk the humiliation of simply asking for their phone number. Damn. You all have it so easy today. If you don’t like someone's photo or bio you just simply swipe left. And if they don’t like you, well, you will never really know. You will never hear from them.
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•  You don’t run the risk of them saying no because you followed them around like some little lost puppy dog. Or farted in front of them. Or lost out to one of your best friends. Yes, I have lived that humiliation. I lived in a time when you had to go up to a girl you liked and ask for their phone number. Then go home and use one of those rotary phones to dial them up and hope that their parents didn’t answer. You were very clear on the time you would call so you didn’t risk having to answer to the man of the house on why exactly you were calling their daughter. Luckily for me, I lived in a small town and most parents knew all of the other parents and they knew exactly why I was calling. Today? Men are not so sure. Why are we calling you? I heard the most interesting question one time. What is the biggest struggle in relationships right now?  There was nothing more poignant. Nothing more exacting than what this woman had to say to this question. Men don’t tell the truth. And, women can’t handle the truth. All of us have more choices than ever. Maybe too many choices. We are quick to cash in. We don’t ride things out. We don’t practice radical acceptance like Tara Brach says we should. Honestly, what is the fucking point? Where was I even going with all that? I’ll just chalk it up to my “lizard brain.” Apparently, it’s a real thing men have.  According to my third ex-wife anyway

By Dung Jack